Ditching the Racial and PC Nonsense

“Power often tramples that which it presumes to defend, nurture and protect…”

Should we take exception to the idea that we must be enlightened and sensitized by the few supposedly socially conscious souls who live amongst us.  They who assume, accordingly, that we, each, are inherently not enough as we are and that our hearts and minds must be expanded to embrace their social doctrines and perspectives in order to be considered equal to the task of “being an adequately sensitive human being.” (Like them)  Being adjudged unlike them, (thankfully), we are still found woefully wanting.  How is it they cannot see the constriction in their own implied conscientiousness and righteousness?  Who is really being insensitive here?

 Learning about the complexity and uniqueness of cultures is valuable and exciting.  Even so, still I have faith in our innate sensibilities and must oppose the indoctrination with ideas like sensitivity training in order to satisfy others that I perceive properly, as it is required for all who are the “unlike.”  The insensitivity of requiring such pretentious “training” is astounding. (Seems rather zombie like) 

Who are those who walk amongst us and assume such a superior moral view that they are able to justify a condemnation of other souls?  What is it that lives within them?  What fermenting disturbance festers and erupts into our social fabric creating this terrible conflict of sentiments and suffering?  Why am I insufficient for simply experiencing the world according to my own innate sensibilities?  THEY DO!  I can only observe that I must contain some genetic flaw that undermines cognitive fluency!  I must be stupid!  Yes, that must be it, I am the “unlike,” the stupid.

   

An interesting quote comes to mind.  “Projection is one of the commonest psychic phenomena…everything that is unconscious in ourselves we discover in our neighbor, and treat him accordingly.”   Carl Jung. 

 Hmmm, with that in mind maybe the social justice warrior would do well to look inward for the truth.  Reach out, there are those who can help.  It seems reasonable to note that feeling hate towards others is often a projection of the world within.  We cannot change others by hating them or their supposed stance towards social circumstances of different groups.  No good comes of this approach.

 

Martin Luther King believed in the raising of all “boats.”  We cannot mandate equality for there is no such thing in nature (of which we are a part) and it cannot be artificially achieved. (As the Marxists proclaim)  Instead, each individual according to his ability and efforts is rich in possibilities and life enhancing potentials.  This can often be observed in the content of the individual’s character. 

Ethnic and cultural variation and its’ potential as I understand it 🙂

Philosophers have, from the beginning of recorded history, left a record of their musings about our place and purpose on planet earth.  Why this? Why that? Why anything? And so on.  One of the greatest mysteries I have observed during my time in the world is the profound confusion or disconnect people seem to live with concerning their own ethnic and cultural differences as broader inter-cultural assets. 

Remember the idea that Pride Comes before the Fall?  I wonder if it is appropriate to imagine as a specific group within society, that we are superior to other groups…where in lies the benefit (other than obvious political benefits)?  While our instinct towards what is familiar is always in play, how can our culture as a whole become more vibrant when some members pit themselves against others with an intention to dominate and reshape/interpret someone elses cultural heritage?   

Fear of the unknown and those who appear different from us can be at play here.  The limbic system is always alert to what is unfamiliar and fear can often result especially when one is taught to see others in a negative light, this does not serve humanity well.  Differences between skin colors defined as race is a manmade concept that only serves to divide people rather than bring them together.  It can be observed as a vulgar political devise readily used by politicians. 

The overriding reality surrounding ethnicity and race as used and interpreted within the social dynamic in America is being used in the service of promoting political warfare and social unrest.  In the public forum it seems little known amongst a significant number of the population that polarizing racial constructs, which have no basis in science or biology, are being deployed and weaponized with the intent of dividing the country into groups with opposing viewpoints. 

No longer is our shared humanity a common bond.  Instead, divisiveness based upon appearances and presumed social order dominates the political and social discourse.  Within this sate rests the specific intent of elites and their surrogates to dismantle and reorganize the cultural fabric of our country.  They have accomplished a lot in the dissemination of fear and hate.   

Indoctrination, What’s Missing?

How is it that so many of us willfully follow leaders with such destructive ideas and intentions towards other human beings?  Their motives are not derived from the desire to correct the errors of past generations, but only to establish the supremacy of a few over the many which is exactly what they claim to be organized against.

It appears we currently lack a public dialogue concerning the instinctive nature of all humans towards having continuity with others who are of similar social and ethnic circumstances and backgrounds.  Our instincts cannot be overwritten by the insanity of sensitivity training or racial bias classes.  These ideas are the slogans of discord and hate.   All human beings, without interference, are capable of fluidity in moving through and around cultural and ethnic boundaries.  Such exploration helps us learn from one another and promotes fraternity.

Another myth is the concept of equality of experience or outcome.  It does not and has never existed…it cannot (except as a destructive political device).  It cannot be forced upon a people without enslaving them.  Moral indoctrinations (trainings) for the sake of manipulating the conscience separates the world around us into good and evil, black and white, us and them.  An example of such indoctrination takes place in “communist re-education camps” where one learns to accept the doctrine of the state or not…at your own peril.

Race, is a human construct that does not exist except in the mind. It has been used as a means of marginalizing human beings based on physical differences and a desire to establish cultural and political dominance.  A nation/society cannot survive this ignorance if it is fully embraced. 

Perhaps the truth is that our diverseness empowers our humanity.

We all have a sense of being connected and comfortable in the presence of others like ourselves, because of our ethnic community and the comfort of what is familiar and the common understanding of each member of the group of their idiosyncratic belonging and having a place in the world that will always give one the feeling of being at home.  This is normal and natural. This is the native in each of us.  We are, by instinct, drawn to others like ourselves while every group is unique in its observance and celebration of life.  This is life affirming!

What if our ethnic differences are by design?  Perhaps by genetic variation alone we are prone to seeing the world differently.  Geographic’s have an impact.  The enormous differences and complexities of our ethnic cultural attributes support this.  I do not ascribe to the notion that all that is, is random and accidental.  There is no evidence to support such an accident that I know of.  It just so happens there are also arguments for our evolution into unique color tones based on environment and climate as well.  “Race” as a definition of groups would be better left in the dust bin of historical nonsense.   I’m “white” by current cultural categorization, but I believe my ancient ancestors were very dark-skinned people. 

Check this out:  The Biology of Skin Color, “We are one under the sun…”

The Biology of Skin Color — HHMI BioInteractive Video – YouTube

Cutural Variety Benefits Humanity

It can be observed that ethnic and cultural variations have evolved and exist not only to humanities benefit, but to allow for our entertainment also.  Our vast array of cultural characteristics and variety are, as I understand them, intended and well suited to creating wonder and amazement within each of us.  We are a species of unimaginable heterogeneity in cultures while we are all of the same kind – human.  This is cause to celebrate…

Every flower of the field exhibits beauty and mirrors the world around it.  While each represents only one of its’ kind, still they are all flowers.

I prefer the idea that we are all one race, if we must use that word.  Flowers are flowers, after all. I have never come across a flower that, if quietly observed, did not cause wonderment.

Jon             

Share your thoughts in the comment section.

      

Love and Truth

Wrestling with “What is Love?”

The word “love” as it is used below represents a communal perspective of the term. It does not reflect my current observations and interpretations of it’s’ impact on relationships as the term has been and is used generically. The communal version will suffice for the narrative at hand.

State of Mind

Self exploration is important where emotional and psychological healing is concerned. In order to be genuine in our relationships, we have to take time to reflect on and explore what lurks within. What is there that interferes with intimacy? I’ve done a lot of soul searching in my time and I’ve had powerful mentors, too. I’ve been through loss, death, separation, and most of the stuff in between.

That said, I would like to introduce a perspective that I’ve learned to use when looking at relationships that affect me and those around me, and explore the question “What is Love.”

The Vow

Sometimes a relationship can leave you feeling like a canceled check filed away in a drawer never to be revisited again. You wrote the check, someone cashed it, and now it’s just a reminder of the transaction and the cost. When you reflect on it, you can see where the value was in it. Sometimes you can follow the thread running through it, sometimes not.

I’ve seen the concept of love treated as a commodity by some people, as if it’s something given in return for a service or a promise; sometimes kept, sometimes broken. Kind of like a vow that couldn’t be kept in the first place. The vow is something that expresses an intention. The circumstance in which it was made is often altered substantially because of the effect of the weathering of relationships that the passing of time always causes.

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Some people grow, some do not. Individual needs change as the heart and mind expand and contract. We are not the same now as we were some years ago.

What becomes of the vow when one day, two people look at one another and discover someone different, and perhaps not as pleasant as who they started the relationship with. Or, at least, who they thought they started out with. Do they pursue the vow blindly? Where is the right path, the truth?

“Love” and Truth:

There are two things I have learned to focus on where relationships are concerned. First, the relationship in all its’ forms, and second, the truth that sustains it and allows it to evolve. I ask myself, “Does love exist where relationships are bound together by deception, either by deception of the self or of another person or both? How often do we deceive ourselves going into or while in a relationship? Where does the truth enter into it?”

Letting go can be the most healing of activities. It represents an act of self-care that might also benefit anyone else who is connected to circumstances that cause suffering. Everyone understands that if you give the promise of nurture, you may often receive nurture in return. But honest, truthful loving kindness carries with it no conditions, only the hope of a loving response that does not bind. In this lies the test of the truth of how well we love ourselves-or perhaps if we are truly able to love at all.

So, where is the truth? Do I promise to love because I need to be loved, or do I promise because I love you? Tell the truth…

What healing does the one bring if ones worth is tied to good intentions? “Look what I have done for you,” they think. “Look at all the goodness I have poured out over you.” What is the truth? Does one’s own need for love and admiration impact the effect of the sharing process? Just how well do I love myself? I had better be able to answer that question! Tell the truth…

A proverb I read goes something like this, “The wise man seeks the counsel of many, while the fool seeks his own.” Are we the fool when we avoid the truth, or is it simply an indication of our suffering and the fear attached to it?

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Share your thoughts, add your counsel. Jon

The Love Quiz

Humanities quest for meaning in relationships is an ageless endeavor.  It consumes us as human beings.  Take a few seconds and answer just one question.  Add your voice and help establish a consensus.

 

When the past becomes the future

My clients have a common theme that threads its way through their lives.  Thoughts and behaviors that consistently evoke undesirable outcomes, that create anxiety and disrupt healing and growth is a pattern they all share.  Our beliefs, how we think about and perceive ourselves and the world around us are established early in life.

The past can predict our future if we allow it to

Usually by the time we are 5-6 years old we have gathered and learned everything that substantiates our core beliefs.  Imagine, here you are with those beliefs that were filtered through the cognitive lens of a child whose brain was not fully developed and you are now trying to navigate the world and thrive.  You might imagine how our past can influence the present.

Those early perceptions may have been helpful once for our survival, but for many of us, they do not serve us well as adults.  The past can predict our future if we allow it to.

Here is where our journey together might begin.  Everyone needs a mentor.

Learned Resistance

Learned resistance, for our purposes, is experienced as the avoidance of new behaviors that challenge the status quo.  We default to what is familiar and comfortable.  When an action that can contribute to the creation of new paradigms, a new sense of ones-self or empowerment, is directly met with inaction, this behavior can be observed as resistance.

Everyone knows this feeling. Procrastination comes to mind. It serves to defeat our future self and deflates our ability to grow and change. When we are in this state the world moves around us like the shadows on the wall of Plato’s Cave. Unengaged, we find ourselves lethargic and indifferent to the world around us.

This kind of isolation can deafen our senses and create in us feelings of being incomplete and inadequate. Resistance of this kind is the enemy of personal evolution. We are inherently designed to experience the world on a completely different level, in another way entirely. This resistance, as an approach to life, can be thought of as a learned, defensive behavior. Unlearn it!

The Beginnings of Change

Commit to change by taking action. Try this simple little exercise. The next time you find yourself day dreaming about some important aspect of your life being different and better than it is, currently, write it down. Write the dream or thoughts down in detail. Then every time it reoccurs write down the time and place and anything new that comes up. (You’re going to need a notebook) Take time and do it. What is it, a few moments or so?

”It’s interesting to observe how doubt can consistently get in the way
of willingness and progress.”

We easily spend and waste hours of our lives starring at screens outside of the workplace.  Redirect some energy!  What does this accomplish?  First, it interrupts your process of letting the thoughts go without a response and creates a potential through the act of being recorded.  Second, when we begin to write about something it requires actively accessing our belief systems as we interpret and describe the subject at hand.  As your mentor I want you to be actively challenging those systems.   Act!

Those two things, together, establish a new paradigm and are a far cry from allowing ourselves to drift in and out of idle, non productive day dreams.  (Don’t interpret daydreaming as all negative.  They can also be very healthy and pleasant for us also!)A step such as this can begin to disrupt the routine that has thus far been defining your present and future self. 

You can, or will, through repetition and consistency alter the known universe.  You have the power, so redirect some energy.  It’s good to think of energy as a resource to be deployed at will.  Act!  When we begin to focus in this way our dreams and aspirations gain depth and new dimensions as they are continually being explored and processed.  They can, in fact, become a reality.

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Dream, write, reflect…repeat.  Disperse the clouds.

Another way to begin to exert your self is to investigate and respond to blogs.  Interact and contribute to ideas.  Develop your communication skills.  Put yourself out there.  In order to alter the direction we find ourselves headed, we must be willing to, first, adopt new strategies.

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It’s interesting to observe how doubt can consistently get in the way of willingness and progress. The first new strategy is to take actions that attack our uncomfortable feelings towards what is new and unfamiliar. These are actions that are still moderate enough not to paralyze us. In this fashion, life begins to present new possibilities.

This is another small step towards self discovery. Contribute to a dialogue. Participate in the world of ideas.

Free Recourses

Try Journaling, why? It helps us to know ourselves better… The easy way.

A simple journal can be as little as 3 or 4 sentences per day.  There is no rule other than to get out of your discomfort with the idea. Let me help you get comfortable with an easy process.  Tell your story. Whether you know it or not, you whole life thus far has been one long narrative.  The narrative tends to repeat itself so perhaps it’s time to take control of it. Get some of it on paper so it can be observed.

“There is no rule other than to get out of your discomfort with the idea.”

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Every aspect of the world as you have created it is a product and result of the narrative that plays on and on internally. If someone were to write your biography it would be filled with the subtleties and nuanced insights into the variables of your internal process and your beliefs.

In order for others to understand the approach to life that you have undertaken it would be essential for the biographer to glean from you the idiosyncratic thought processes that produced and maintain the “you” that the world at large is experiencing. We create who we are it’s not forced upon us.

Why do people journal? One reason is to organize their thoughts and make sense of the world. The process of writing grounds us and requires us to access our belief systems. This is important to developing a better understanding of how we are motivated to create the world around us. Yes, as adults, we are responsible for the world as we know it and equally responsible for what it will look like in the future. That’s a powerful idea! And it’s actually a fact!

Embrace change by discovering your personal narrative or story line and in doing so you can also discover you have power over it. The main obstacle my clients experience when I suggest this as a method of self-improvement is one basic question. “What do I write about?” Here’s where I make it easy for you.

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Get a notebook, a nice one, you deserve it!

A daily journal basically, answers a question or observes and records an experience. It helps us know ourselves better.  It often reflects on the events, or an event that transpired during the day.  It does not have to deal with everything that went on.  So here is a list of questions you can copy and use to give your new exercise a good start.

These questions can be used one per week or one per day as you see fit. Use them in any order, but use them all!  In time you will have questions of your own to work with.

Write one at the top of your page and begin.  This provides continuity, focus and structure.  You are writing about the most important person you know, so be thoughtful and thorough. 

For your consideration:

1. What happened today that was positive and why does it matter?
2. What personal challenges did I face today and how did I respond?
3. Did I feel confident in myself throughout the day, what does it feel like either way?
4. Describe something that troubled you and how you felt at the time. (OK, not a question)
5. Did a single emotion dominate the day and if so, why?
6. How did I respond to what I perceived as indifference to my needs and was it appropriate?
7. Was there a point during the day when I felt helpless and was the feeling justified?
8. Did I procrastinate over anything today and if so what feelings and thoughts were wrapped around it?
9. What did I learn about myself today that caused me to pause and reflect and why?

“Get your feet out of the mud so you can begin to imagine and experience life in a new way!”

Dream, write, reflect…repeat. Disperse the clouds.
Dream, write, reflect…repeat. Disperse the clouds.
Dream, write, reflect…repeat. Disperse the clouds.

Press on, sloth is the death of potential!

More Advice for Building a Stronger You

Another part of the equation is reading. If you refuse to learn you refuse to grow. This is usually apathy, or ambivalence towards yourself or the value of the written word. This is the domain of doubt and uncertainty. “What good will it do? Why bother?”

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you aren’t spending time reading and developing your knowledge of history, science, philosophy, and how the world really works, then you might as well realize that you may be living in a vegetative state “Alive but comatose and without apparent brain activity or responsiveness.” – Oxford Dictionary 🙂

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It can also make you quite vulnerable to opinions pretending to be facts. If reading and exploring is already a part of your lifestyle that’s excellent! Either way, here are a few suggestions that will help build an even stronger you.

By the way, there are no works of fiction listed here as I’m promoting empowerment and healing. Knowledge promotes personal power while idleness of mind does not!

For your consideration:

For your politically aware self
1. Day of Empire, Amy Chua

This is an important book for anyone who wants to understand the underlying nature of our culture, how things work and the big picture of how empires have risen and declined over thousands of years of history.
There are patterns that empires have consistently duplicated and America is no exception. History does repeat itself. The book provides a view that’s above the shabbiness of ideology and politics. This book is heavy on historical facts and shines light on how we are repeating the same mistakes as our predecessors and the looming consequences of that course.

For your relational self
2. Fear of Intimacy, Robert Firestone PhD. and Joyce Catlett MA

Not a self-help book, but it is self-enlightening! This book is a record of the “long term study of 3 generations of individuals” that according to the author (Firestone) revealed “that most people are involved in personal relationships characterized by emotional hunger, desperation and an intense need for fusion…”
The insights in this book have brought me back to it many times over the years. It reveals a lot about the average person. I guess that’s all of us. Good read!

Speaks for itself
3. The Brain that Changes Itself, Norman Doidge, M.D.

This is a fascinating read. The brain can suffer catastrophic damage and still find a way to recover and compensate. This book makes neuroscience accessible to us regular folks. It also shines light on how our healthy brains are just waiting to be challenged. Our thoughts define us and shape the world around us. Don’t pass this book up!

For your archetypal self
4. The Little Book of the Shadow, Robert Bly

Bly reflects on the shadow-self drawing on Jung’s theory of the Shadow. He has some interesting insights on how we carry and project repressed parts of our psyche and the personal and social consequences that are experienced. The book is a short read.

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For your intellectual self
5. The Master and His Emissary, Iain McGilchrist

This is a heavy read for those who like to be challenged. McGilchrist correlates the evolution and development of cultures to the evolution of both the left and right hemispheres of the brain.

Honestly, I scanned through some chapters which I often do with complex material and focused on material in chapters that were of specific interest to me. This book might tighten your grip on who you are as a social animal. Informative!

For organizing your life
6. 12 Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson, Ph. D.

Dr. Peterson elaborates on concepts that he has been teaching and refining all of his professional life. This book is a resource that provides practical and proven ideas that can produce positive results in your life if you implement them. Want to improve the state of things in your life? This book is an excellent resource. Jump in and grow!

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For believing in yourself
7. Biology of Belief, Bruce H. Lipton Ph. D.

In the prologue Dr. Lipton starts out by asking “If you could be anybody…who would you be?” He was asking this of himself at one point in his life. It has long been known that as you believe, so you become.

We can literally think our way into disease states, underachieving behaviors and all of the possibilities that doubt and uncertainty can lead to. Of course there are opposing potentials also. Our thoughts shape us. This idea has biopsychosocial implications and this book can help you discover and understand them in your own life. Read this book!

For your fun self
8. The Geography of Time, Robert Levine

Here’s one on the lighter side. How different cultures structure and measure, or observe time is fascinating. In his preface Livine quotes Jeremy Rifkin author of, Time Wars, saying “Every culture has its own unique set of temporal fingerprints. To know a people is to know the time values they live by.”

Instant gratification and the hurried pace of western culture is brought into question here. Modern humans (in western culture) tend to operate at a dizzying and unnatural pace. I would be surprised if you did not find this book interesting. “Those who rush arrive first at the grave. Spanish Proverb”

For your whole self
9. Read biographies.

Biographies can teach us about adversity. They can also have an impact how we understand what it is like to triumph over what at times seem to be impossible circumstances. Find inspiration! Pick an historical figure that you find interesting and go for it.

Stop the “yeah, yeah maybe someday” nonsense and get busy. Your life is like a river that rushes by and cannot be retrieved. Stop for a moment and look around you. Everything is in motion even when you are not. It’s time to TAKE ACTION!

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Doubt and Uncertainty are Destroyers.

Remember, what keeps us from expanding our understanding of ourselves and the world around us is often a part of the same internal process that holds us back in every aspect of life. Doubt and uncertainty are destroyers. They do not support a thirst for knowledge and self-reliance. Being disinterested in learning is often a sign of ambivalence which, as an internal state, can prevent us from achieving just about any dream we’ve ever had.

Making a habit like reading and exploring a part of your personal ritual has profound implications. It can become an empowering, self-soothing behavior. Healthy self-soothing activities are revitalizing and constructive compared to sitting in front of a TV, computer or smart phone screen. The latter have been proven to be, in significant ways, dehumanizing.

Use Videos as a “Part” of Your Mentoring Solution

Below are some links that offer an additional means of establishing a mentor relationship. They do not and cannot replace the impact of having a direct relationship in real time, but they can help with building and expanding character and knowhow. How? Glad you asked!

If you watch a video once and think that you have absorbed all of its ideas and concepts, you are wrong. I once had a client in a group complain that the video I was about to show the group had been viewed before. I asked him to tell me what the video was about. He could not. Point made. We watched again and gleaned new insights together.

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How did we, as children, all learn the alphabet? We started with A and added new letters, but always began with A again. A, AB, ABC and so on. Repetition gets results and builds character. If we want to become wise we have to immerse ourselves in the wisdom of the ages. The best way to learn and perfect a new language is immersion and repetition.

Whomever it is you wish to become, you will have to revisit that ideal over and over in all of its aspects. Anything we have achieved in life took time and effort to accomplish, even the negative traits required effort to develop. They also take effort to maintain. We can work on the new version of you together if you would like, meanwhile you can begin to explore with these:

Personal Potential

  

Quit social media | Dr. Cal Newport | TEDxTysons

  

YOU’RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK | Jordan Peterson

Personal Skills

  

GO INTO THE UNKNOWN | Jordan Peterson

  

How language generates your world and mine: Chalmers Brothers

  

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell – Animation

  

This is How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

Stress and Fear

  

How fear affects the brain

  

How stress affects your brain – Madhumita Murgia

Take Action-Exercise for Brain function

  

The brain-changing benefits of exercise | Dr. Wendy Suzuki

  

How to keep your brain healthy through exercise – Harvard Health

Create a folder on your desktop or in favorites and save 4-5 videos (of these or others) that have inspired you. Review them often. It takes time, and determination to “become a new version of you.” Review, reflect, repeat!

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Be careful not to get stuck in the idea that this is all you need to do. Success will require more than one new habit or behavior. Press on! Immerse yourself and expose yourself to the world of ideas. Begin now!


The Love Quiz

Humanities quest for meaning in relationships is an ageless endeavor.  It consumes us as human beings.  Take a few seconds and answer just one question.  Add your voice and help establish a consensus.